she's just saying...

I'd like to thank the Academy

Just in time for tonight, the Oscar Speech Generator.

 

Chart geek

I thought I'd ease back into this posting thing with a frylet. So tasty, so salty, so pleasing to find at the end of the workweek!

This is so much more clever than I could ever be. I stole it from here, a fascinating site for data wonks. To be of which I am proud.

An alien ate my homework

Henry and I saw Percy and the Olympians: The Lightening Thief yesterday. (awkward title, but comes from the book series.) It was mildly entertaining --100% formula, a sort of Harry Potter-very-lite, but with a nice original Greek mythology theme.

This particular formula goes like this: teen feels like a misfit; hooks up with other misfits; together they save the world from _________ (evil wizards, aliens, motor vehicles who transform into aliens, Greek Gods, spy kids, superhero-villains); gain coolness and set the stage for the sequel. All with hipness, wittiness, hottieness and all the other attributes misfit teens possess. Adults are either 1. ineffectual, 2. non-existent, or 3. clueless losers who get in the way. 

There's the usual geeky (or in this case, goaty) sidekick, the cute but unavailable girl, the bullies and bad guys, fight scenes and diner scenes. All normalcy returns in the end and the misfit gets the girl.

There were some amusing effects: Pierce Brosnan as a horse's ass (his words, not mine!), Uma Thurman as a wonderfully campy compelling Medusa, and Rosario Dawson as a very hot Persephone (a little geek greek mythology humor there - get it?). Unfortunately, next to the adults, the kids are a little colorless. Lots of no-names with no personalities, frankly. Maybe they'll develop in the next ones.

As a pre-teen, Henry eats up these movies. I wonder what messages he's getting. I also wonder where these kids get the money for food and gas and how they're going to describe this adventure on their college admissions essays.

Uma's having a bad hair day.

I admit: I'm a fanboy

Henry and I saw Avatar 3D yesterday, and I can't stop thinking about it.

The story is not really the point: it's your usual sci-fi evil earth corporation plundering beautiful virgin planet mixed with boy-meets-alien in a Lord of the Rings New Zealand forest. We inherently know the story arc and resolution, having seen this play out a hundred times in a hundred different time periods. James Cameron is not a great writer: that's not where his genius lies.

It's the cumulative impact of the filmmaker's vision, imagination and visual effects: breathtaking, mind-blowing, spellbinding. Think of when you saw  2001: Space Odyssey, or Star Wars (the very first one): suddenly there's a whole new way of telling a story with film. 

Yes, the blue aliens are a little goofy, the evil US military is still evil, the acting is non-nuanced and the dialogue is corny. Amazingly, it's easy to forgive all that, because the glowing forest, the floating mountains, the lithe creatures, the movement, the luminescence, the 3-dimensionality is frankly astounding. It's a 2 1/2 hour movie and I never wanted it to end. 

(The marketing is state-of-the-corporate-art, of course: twitter feeds, app downloads, interactive websites for the McDonald's toys, etc. What do you expect for a $300-$500 million budget [depending on who's counting]? And don't get me started on the morality (um, immorality) of spending half a billion on a piece of celluloid when so many souls could be saved with that amount. The reality is that no one is about to say "Hey, instead of making this movie, let's send the money to Unicef!" That's a topic for another more socially-responsible blog.)

James Cameron,Steven Spielberg, Jeffrey Katzenberg: all are committing to Digital 3D for their upcoming movies. It is the way image-making is moving, whether through the movie screen,  home TV or computers. Story-telling is still about the story, at its heart, regardless of the tricks. But this movie paints a world unlike one you've ever imagined, and that is its story.

Go see Avatar in 3D and tell me what you think.

G.I. Joe = Female Empowerment?

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I was at the second showing of the GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra opening yesterday.

I'm not going to spoil it for all of you who are lining up to see it today, but I can say that it was exactly what you might expect, including loud. However, there were some sociological aspects to it that were noteworthy, including how the fightin' women were portrayed.

Aside from the skin-tight leather lycra combat outfits (I was distracted by worrying about their pores clogging), the women were tough and mean. Of note was the girl-fight where they really wailed on each other, and how the redhead beat the black guy at target practice.  [ed. note: yes, it would have been much more enlightened if the women refused to fight at all and instead negotiated their way out of the crisis, but then we wouldn't have much of a movie, would we?]

I was gratified by the ex-supermodel-turned-world-dominatrix who wore GLASSES throughout the movie. That might have been a first. I think she even kept them on for the kissing part, though possibly not. One style was the heavy black "I'm not just beautiful, I'm a nerdy intellectual" type, and one pair were disconcertingly like Sarah Palin's rimless ones, but she rocked them all. 

I'm clearly going to have to get a new superhero spectacle wardrobe. 

Another sub-theme that was notable for being so off-hand was the interracial flirting between the previously-mentioned redhead and black guy, complete with a kiss. It was a nice break from the usual colorline pairing. (Though there were no black women in the movie at all -- a bit of an oversight.)

Though I doubt many girls are going to see this movie, I like the fact that all those impressionable pre-teen (and older) boys are getting exposed to these new paradigms. Except for the skin-tight part, but it is Hollywood, after all.

 

The glasses. You're supposed to notice the glasses.

95 movies

Monkey in a box tagged me for this on Facebook. I love it when people provide grist for the blog mill!

First of all, this is a really odd list - I have no idea what the criteria were for these particular movies to be included and others not. Except, they all seem to be the 32-screen cineplex kind, vs. the highbrow stuff I watch. Yeah, right. I did get to 95...

Some of these are kind of embarrassing to check off, but I credit those to in-flight movies where there's no escape. And having a kid. He's old enough now that I can drop him off at the theater, so my count is going to start to lag.

Okay, here goes:

SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 85 films, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 239 films on this list. Copy this list ... put x's next to the films you've seen, add them up, change the header adding your number, etc. etc.

You're supposed to tag others, so I'll tag my blog buddies over there on the right. You know who you are. And Bill. And Mark.

(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(X) Grease
(X) Pirates of the Caribbean
(X) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
( ) Boondock Saints
( ) Fight Club
( ) Starsky and Hutch
(X) Neverending Story
(X) Blazing Saddles
(X) Airplane

(X) The Princess Bride
( ) Anchorman
(X) Napoleon Dynamite
( ) Labyrinth--
( ) Saw
( ) Saw II
(x) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
(x) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates
( ) The Princess Diaries
( ) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
( ) Scream
( ) Scream 2
( ) Scream 3
( ) Scary Movie
( ) Scary Movie 2
( ) Scary Movie 3
( ) Scary Movie 4
(X) American Pie
( ) American Pie 2
( ) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp

(X) Harry Potter 1
(X) Harry Potter 2
(X) Harry Potter 3
(X) Harry Potter 4
( ) Resident Evil 1
( ) Resident Evil 2
( ) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
( ) The Village
(x) Lilo & Stitch

(X) Finding Nemo
( ) Finding Neverland
( ) Signs
(x)The Grinch
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
( ) White Chicks
( ) Butterfly Effect
( ) 13 Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
(x) Robots

( ) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
( ) Universal Soldier
(X) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( ) Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
( ) King Pin
( ) Never Been Kissed
( ) Meet The Parents
( ) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt
(X) KING KONG

( ) A Cinderella Story
( ) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
( ) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
( ) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
( ) Halloween
( ) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-MAS
(X) Flubber

( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
( ) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
( ) I Am Sam
(x) The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards

(x) The Day After Tomorrow
( ) Child's Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
( ) Ten Things I Hate About You
( ) Just Married
(x) Gothika
( ) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
( ) The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
(X) The Mask
(x) Son Of The Mask

(x) Bad Boys
( ) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
( ) Lucky Number Slevin
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
(X) Bourne Identity
(X) Bourne Supremecy
(x) Lone Star
( ) Bedazzled
( ) Predator I
( ) Predator II
( ) The Fog
(X) Ice Age
(x) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
(x) Curious George

(X) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
(X) ET
( ) Children of the Corn
( ) My Bosses Daughter
( ) Maid in Manhattan
(x) War of the Worlds
( ) Rush Hour
( ) Rush Hour 2

( ) Best Bet
( ) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
(x) Sideways
(X) Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon--
( ) Ever After
(X) Wizard of Oz
( ) Forrest Gump
(X) Big Trouble in Little China
(X) The Terminator
(X) The Terminator 2
(X) The Terminator 3

(X) X-Men
(x) X-2
(x) X-3
(X) Spider-Man
(X) Spider-Man 2
(x) Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
(X) Catch Me If You Can
(X) The Little Mermaid
(X) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
( ) The Skulls
( ) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick
(X) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2

( ) Swimfan
(X) Miracle on 34th street
( ) Old School
( ) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
( ) Krippendorf's Tribe
( ) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
( ) The 40-year-old Virgin

(X) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring-
(X) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers-
(X) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King--
(X) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(X) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(X) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

( ) Basketball
( ) Hostel
(x) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
(X) Elf
( ) Highlander
( ) Mothman Prophecies
(x) American History X
( ) Three

( ) The Jacket
( ) Kung Fu Hustle
( ) Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
(X) Monsters Inc.
(X) Titanic
(X) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
( ) Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard

( ) High Tension
( ) Club Dread
(X) Hulk
( ) Dawn Of the Dead
(X) Hook
(X) Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
(X) 28 days later--
( ) Orgazmo
( ) Phantasm
(X) Waterworld

(X) Kill Bill vol 1--
(X) Kill Bill vol 2-
( ) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
( ) Kingdom of Heaven
( ) the Hills Have Eyes-
( ) I Spit on Your Grave
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
( ) Army of Darkness

(X)Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(X) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(X) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith---
(X) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(X) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(X) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks The Battle For Endor--

(x) The Matrix
(X) The Matrix Reloaded
(X) The Matrix Revolutions
( ) Animatrix
( ) Evil Dead
( ) Evil Dead 2
( ) Team America: World Police
( ) Red Dragon---
(X) Silence of the Lambs
( ) Hannibal

Well, I hit 95. More than Monkey.